Laughter – Page 2

I’ve just finished reading Richard Reeves’ great blog post on Playfulness, and it’s inspired me in turn to write.

There’s an an old saying “We don’t stop playing because we get old – we get old because we stop playing“. It’s certainly true that as folk get older they can tend to forget how to play with the mindfulness, sponteneity and joyfulness of children.

It’s perhaps ironic that ‘fun’ has become an engineered thing in some organisations – a kind of forced group activity that lacks the very spirit of play it’s intended to engender.

Play – genuine, spontaneous, and heartfelt play – is definitely a source of strength, resilience, creativity and inspiration. But it can’t be engineered – only encouraged. It’s a mindset, not a map. And it needs to be a philosopy of life, not some kind of mandated policy.

Spending time with children is always a great reminder of the power of play – it’s almost impossible to remain unplayful in their presence. But there are also grown-ups who’ve not forgotten the magic.

I remember Shirley, a wonderful woman and the mother of a friend of mine, who always brought the light of play into her own and others’ lives until she passed away at 60+ years young. She’d not forgotten her six-year-old self, and she helped others re-discover their own capacity for play.

And at those times she and those around her would become ‘lost in the unfolding’ as Richard so eloquently expressed it.

As I read Richard’s post I found my head filled with memories of Shirley. And I also remember the playfulness she brought to much more serious things. She contracted cancer that proved incurable, so the last year of her life was a time you wouldn’t think would lend itself to playing.

But Shirley’s indomitable spirit meant she created fun even as she fought a losing battle with her illness.

She made herself crazy hats to wear as she lost her hair through chemotherapy, and also made a game of this with friends and family who gave her gifts of ever-crazier hats.

Shirley wore them all, returning to the gift-givers her own gifts of love and laughter.

She even had fun ‘playing’ with arranging her own funeral. Dickering over details with various funeral parlours. laughing over the stuffiness of some, and being as cheekily provocative as only Shirley could be until she found one she liked.

On the day of Shirley’s funeral, there was standing room only for the last folk to arrive. The chapel was packed. Family members and friends spoke of the difference Shirley had made in their lives – and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room.

But at the end of the service, as we were about to leave, the song Shirley had chosen to end the service rang through the chapel. It was Always Look on the Bright Side of Death from the Monty Python Life of Brian movie!

It was Shirley’s last playful gift to us all. And we found ourselves smiling through our tears.

Today, on All Fools’ Day, I’m launching into the blogosphere. A very appropriate day to begin! :)

It’s a day to remember the archetypal Fool – the innocent who represents beginnings and the realm of unknowing.

I don’t know where my wanderings will take me here, but I plan to celebrate stories and share reflections on various things that bubble up for me – while both enjoying and learning from the journey. If others – you who are reading this – should also like to walk a part of the way with me, I’ll welcome your company.

There’s a great Wiki page on All Fools’ Day – probably more than you’ve ever wanted to know. :) I was fascinated to learn that the spirit of April Fools’ Day is alive and well in many other cultures around the world. And that one of the oldest prank days in the world is from Iran. There people play jokes on each other on the 13th day of the Persian New Year, which falls April 1 or April 2 and is called Sizdah Bedar.

However I admit I’m far more comfortable with the idea of an April Fool being someone who is starting on a quest for understanding, rather than someone who is simply the victim of a prank. Practical jokes may be fun for the jokers, but I believe a good rule of thumb is ‘it’s not a joke unless both people are laughing‘. And by that, I mean the kind of shared laughter that warms the spirit, not the kind that is gained at the expense of someone else’s wellbeing.

I know humour is a very subjective thing, and that people can laugh when uncomfortable or embarrassed – or even when frightened. Like a cat’s frightened purr perhaps. But from my point of view, the best kind of humour is that which is founded on warmth and a generous spirit. It’s an open invitation to be amused by the follies and foibles of human nature, including our own!

So as I start on my own Fool’s journey on this auspicious day, I’m looking forward to exploring the unknown and to sharing some laughter along the way.