Sue James

Stories, Reflections & Journeys

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I Don’t Know

Filed Under: Reflections, Stories · · 2 Comments ·

I’ve been listening to a lovely song by Lisa Hannigan, called I Don’t Know.

I’m  inspired to reflect yet again on the importance of connecting with other people and listening to their stories.

When I meet you, I don’t know anything about you.

I don’t know what your special gifts are; I don’t know what challenges you most. I don’t know what you like or what you don’t like to do.

I don’t know what joys and pains have carved out your being. And I don’t know what makes your spirit soar.

I don’t know until I listen to your story. Until I bring open ears and an open heart to time spent with you. I don’t know until I ask. And, as Alan Alda once said:

The difference between listening and pretending to listen, I discovered, is enormous. … Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. When I’m willing to let them change me, something happens between us that’s more interesting than a pair of duelling monologues.

Here’s Lisa Hannigan singing I Don’t Know:

I also love the way that Lisa, as she sings, cuts paper to make a beautiful world out of the blank room in which she begins.

For me it was a reminder that listening to your story also helps me build my own world – because listening to your story helps me re-story my own.

10 Lessons From Cats

Filed Under: Featured, Journeys, Reflections, Resources, Stories · · 2 Comments ·

I’ve been watching my two beautiful Tonkinese cats this morning and reflecting that the way they live holds great lessons for life.

Here are some of those things for which cats are such wonderful reminders.

  1. Creamy and Hershey Be sure to make time every day for play.
  2. Look for sunshine in your life and, when you find it, take the time to stretch your soul into it and enjoy.
  3. Develop the art of stillness.
  4. Take care of those close to you. Watch out for them, spend time with them and share life’s fun as much as you can.
  5. When you’ve had a spat with someone, forgive and forget. True friendship dwells above and beyond those differences.
  6. Explore new spaces, new places, and new things with insatiable curiosity – but gently and safely, taking care of yourself at the same time.
  7. You don’t have to be tense to stay alert, so relax those muscles. You can remain alert and completely, totally relaxed at the same time.
  8. When life seems cold, look for the warmest spot you can find and stay there. It’s ok to curl up under the doona sometimes and stay hidden for a while.
  9. When you know what you want in life, be sure to ask for it – loudly if necessary – in the certainty it will come to you in the end …
  10. … but most of the time you don’t have to put your claws out. A soft touch may be all you need to gain attention. :)

I have studied many philosophers and many cats.  The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.  (Hippolyte Taine)

How Many Times

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Through the work Chris and I do, we have the privilege of hearing the stories of people from all kinds of places, spaces and backgrounds.

So often I am humbled by their wisdom, resilience, humour and strength – often under circumstances that could leave them bitter, bowed or defeated. And I feel honoured they have felt able to open their hearts and share their stories with us.

It’s a reminder in this busy, media-saturated world of ours that the most powerful stories are not necessarily those of the rich and famous.

How often do we give our time, our spirits and our hearts to listen – really listen – to the stories of others? Ordinary people, with extraordinary stories.

Here is a song from one of my favourite Aussie singer-songwriters, Judy Small, which asks much the same question.

 

How many times do they tell their tales to strangers,

Who turn away in silence and pretend they didn’t hear.

How many times do we throw away such chances,

Never knowing what we might have learned with open ears.

(From How Many Times, by Judy Small)